I know some of y'all are in college and on a budget, but do you always have to eat like that?
The college diet often looks like a mix of instant noodles, late-night pizza, and whatever you can throw in a microwave that vaguely resembles food. But what if I told you there’s a way to whip up a meal that’s healthy, delicious, and doesn’t involve a microwave explosion or a fire alarm?
If you just know you're gonna involve either explosion or fire alarm, please get someone that you trust to make this recipe. Your entire dorm will thank you for not burning it down to ashes. 😂
Yea, it's happening. Go ahead and put down the noodle packet and pick up the spatula that's been collecting dust, and let's get started!
Step 1: Raid Your Dorm Kitchen (Or Your Shared Apartment's One Drawer)
First things first—let’s talk about the tools. I know, I know, who has fancy pots, pans, or kitchen gadgets lying around in college? No one. That’s why you just need the basics:
A pan (not your roommate’s dirty one… maybe)
A wooden spoon (optional but makes you feel like a real chef)
A knife (the sharper, the better, but let's not get dramatic here)
A cutting board (or a clean textbook if you’re desperate)
Truth be told you don't need a five-star kitchen—just some enthusiasm and the ability to open a can.
(With a can opener of course, because who's opening cans with bare hands? Unless your Hulk.)
Then you would just-
*Hulk Smash*
Step 2: Keep It Simple, Keep It Fancy (aka “Fake It Till You Make It”)
We’re going for maximum impact with minimal effort. Here’s a recipe that sounds impressive, tastes delicious, and won’t make your bank account cry: Garlic Butter Chicken Pasta.
Here’s what you need (all cheap, all available at your local grocery store, and nothing that requires a blowtorch):
Pasta (because you're addicted to carbs, but who cares, aren't we all?)
Chicken Breast (or those cheap frozen tenders work too)
Butter (real butter—splurge a little, you’re worth it)
Garlic (fresh if you’re fancy, powder if you’re realistic, both if you are a pro!)
Spinach (because we’re pretending to be healthy)
Parmesan Cheese (optional but you’ll look like a culinary god)
Salt, Pepper, and Italian Herbs (for that “I know what I’m doing” vibe)
Step 3: Channel Your Inner Chef (Even if It’s Gordon Ramsay on a Bad Day)
Boil the Pasta: Fill a pot with water, add a dash of salt, and wait an eternity for it to boil (pro tip: use this time to complain about your professor or scroll TikTok). Once boiling, toss in the pasta and cook according to the instructions—8-10 minutes, depends on how much you're impatient.
Cook the Chicken Like a Boss: While the pasta is cooking, heat up your pan on medium heat and melt a tablespoon of butter (or two—who’s judging?). Season your chicken with salt, pepper, and Italian herbs, then throw it in the pan like you’re auditioning for “MasterChef.” Cook until golden brown on both sides (about 6-8 minutes) and try not to set off the smoke detector.
Add Some Flavor Like A Pro: Lower the heat, add a little more butter, and toss in your garlic. If you’re using fresh garlic, crush a few cloves and pretend you’re angry at them (it’s therapeutic). If you’re using garlic powder, just sprinkle like you’re adding fairy dust.
Spinach Moment: Add a handful of spinach to the pan and let it wilt down. It’ll look like way too much at first but trust me—it shrinks faster than your motivation during finals week. Mix everything together so the chicken and garlic butter love each other.
Combine and Conquer: Drain the pasta (without burning yourself, please) and add it to the chicken-spinach-garlic concoction. Toss everything like you’re in a cooking show, add a sprinkle of Parmesan, and BOOM—you’re officially a chef.
Step 4: Impress Your Friends (and Maybe Even Yourself)
Dish it up, light a candle for dramatic effect, and wait for your friends to ask if you secretly hired a personal chef. You’ve just cooked a real meal that didn't come from a takeout menu or involve a microwave beep. Congrats!
Bonus Tips for Leveling Up Your Meal Game
Buy Fresh Bread: A baguette costs like $2, but it instantly makes you look like a fancy European on a budget. Bonus points if you pretend to know French.
Presentation Matters: Garnish with a few spinach leaves or more Parmesan. No one needs to know you spent 20 minutes obsessing over presentation—act like you just threw it together.
Create an Atmosphere: Play some chill background music (jazz or even lo-fi beats, anyone?) to make your meal feel even more legit
Conclusion: You Can Do This, Seriously
If you can survive college, you can cook a meal. Next time you’re tempted to press that microwave button for another sad bowl of instant noodles, remember you have the power to impress your friends, fill your stomach with something that doesn’t glow in the dark, and still keep your budget intact.
Now go forth and conquer the kitchen, one garlic clove at a time
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